Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mosquitos suck. FACT.

They do. They really, really do.

Yeah, okay, so nobody is a fan, but we live in an area that is so mosquito heavy that I keep forgetting what it's like to live in an area that has a normal bug level. For example, I had to do some yard work on Sunday (one of the rare days of sun that we've had in I don't know how long), so I donned my summer work clothes, put on my work shoes, and stepped out the front door. Then, in the safety of the open air, I took my handy bottle of anti-bug spray and fogged myself with a lovely, toxic cloud of DEET. Arms, legs torso front & back... I even sprayed my hands and rubbed them in my hair and on my face. Pretty extreme for daytime, eh

It's not so extreme for our neighborhood because we have to put bug spray on our legs since the deer moved into our area and brought deer ticks with them. Lyme disease is insanely thick in our area and, after finding three deer ticks on my youngest son a.k.a. "Tick Magnet", I'm not so jazzed on deer. They may be cute, but I really wish that they'd be cute somewhere else. But I digress.

Anyway, freshly soaked in toxic chemicals I headed into the yard to work.

In the sunny yard.

In mid-afternoon.

I still got MUNCHED. Desite sun and heat, those buggers made a b-line for me like starving women to a banquet table. Those aggressive, sun loving buggers found the chinks in my chemical armor, like in my armpit, a spot on my shorts where the DEET must have been less concentrated, and in a momentary gap between my shirt and shorts in the back. The desperate/brain affected ones were ready to take on my chem soaked arms, but I killed them when I could. These weren't the gently buzzing kind of mosquitos either, they attacked with the speed and gusto of attack squadrons. Of course, this wasn't unexpected. Really aggressive insect popultations aren't exactly an unusual thing in this part of the country and, as a matter of fact, one of the guidebooks for a climbing area not too far away carries this statement right in the guide book: "Don't even think of visiting in May or June, when man-eating insects abound. If you slather on enough DEET, you'll probably survive, but the blood loss will be staggering."

These are tough bugs out here. I'll be that they drink DEET for breakfast. Citronella leaves them rolling on the floor holding their sides with laughter. We protect ourselves the best that we can if we go out in our yards in the daytime, but you take your life in your own hands if you step out at night, even to put out the trash. I secretly suspect that your family would find your dry, shrivelled remains in the driveway the next morning if you stayed out for too long.

Man, I miss the city.


thailandchani said...

We have those skeeters here, too! :) Usually the beginning of summer means being eaten alive for a few weeks. Then.. I'm not sure where they go. Perhaps it's too hot here for them?


velvet said...

Brutal! I'll be that you're right and can imagine that the heat is what overwhelms them. We have to wait for the first overnight freeze to get rid of them here. 'Bout a month to go... or more. Bleh!

Chisty La Rou said...

Ohhh they are evil! I hate mozzies. Unfortunatly for me I have tasty blood, well the mozzies seem to think so anyway. I feel your pain.

Bernie said...

The mosquitos in Maryland mustn't like Italian food, because they rarely bother me. I spritz a little DEET and I'm good to go for yard work. My wife, on the other hand, can bathe in the stuff and she still ends up being the main course on the daily buffet.

velvet said...

chisty la rou-
Oh, you're mosquito bait, eh? I'm so sorry to hear that. It's tough for the tasty morsel people, for sure!

Thanks for stopping by!

The fact that so many people had screen porches should have been a clue when we were house hunting. :-P

I'm not a mosquito magnet, either... I'd be willing to lay money down that you'd that you'd get munched up here for sure. I've never, ever, ever lived in a place that was this bad!

thisisme said...

You had me at the headline. They are totally evil and must be destroyed. Do they provide anything useful in an ecosystem?

I am so never coming to visit you - I react so badly whenever they get me that I'd just be puffy eyes surrounded by lumps :)

How is the scratching?

Orhan Kahn said...

I was just about to say, you make me actually enjoy living in the big bad city. Beat me to it ;)

velvet said...

I have a hard time believing that they serve any purpose. Oh, wait! To feed the dragonflies. Hmmm... what a dilemma.

I hardly blame you... even I don't want to visit me because of this scourge! The weird thing is that it's mostly in our town and I don't remember ever seeing them in any of the surrounding towns even at night.

The scratching isn't too bad because I have a secret that I will pass on to you: rub petroleum jelly onto fresh bites as soon as possible. I know that it sounds like a load of nonsense, but it seriously kills the itch. The bites I rubbed it on are completely gone now. That morsel was from my MIL... I tried it in the effort to prove her wrong (a hobby of mine ;-) ), but had to eat my words because it actually works.

You lucky, lucky man. I'll say it again. I miss in the city. *sigh*

S.B. said...

Could be all of the cupcakes coursing through your veins.

It's just a thought.

Having been raised in Michigan, I can totally relate. I don't realize it until someone mentions it that they are practically non-existent her in Southern Californy. Not that I am bragging.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

I am a bug magnet, too. Anyone within a radius of 20 feet is safe if I am there because bugs find me altogether yummy.

When I lived in TN, there were also chiggers which I at first thought was a derogatory word of some kind until I learned that they are actually vicious red insects that can eat 1000 times their weight in human flesh in 5 seconds.

I hope Fall comes to you soon and brings an early frost.

velvet said...

I'm just naturally sweet. ;-)

You don't have any 'squitos in Southern California?? SoCal, here I come!

I feel for you!! It's really hard to be a bug magnet, but then again, there is the adoration from your unbitten friends to make up for it. Or not.

As for chiggers, I've had run-ins with them before... they're NASTY! Bleh!!!

S.B. said...

Skeeters exist out here, just not enough to even take up room in my head worrying about them. That is, unless, they gots the West Nile Virus.


Jocelyn said...

You do make country life sound like the suck.

Maybe it's time to set up a village of bat houses? Not that they could make a dent.


LZ Blogger said...

We have really had a lot of them here in the Midwest this year. I think it was because of a very wet early summer here. The worst thing about them is that they can carry West Nile virus. An ex-neighbor of ours got it and he's in his 40's and now had to walk with a cane as the result of the virus. BUMMER! ~ jb///
P.S. Nice to see you back on my blog... it's been a while now?

Orhan Kahn said...

And again you've gone missing!


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Are you ok, Velvet? Long time, no hear.

Sending good thoughts and hope for news of you soon.

velvet said...

Hey, Susan!

If you check back in here, the notification for your comment went into my spam folder and I didn't realize it for almost a month. Sorry! I figured that everyone had pretty much moved on by now. Oopsie!

Things are okay here and I'm trying to figure out ways of getting back into blogging again. Hope that you're well and thanks for your message!!!